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Walking along my road of recovery from sexual trauma

victim of a crime


a sex thief broke into my heart , my soul
and traumatised my body.

it was time to clean out the mess
 

Survival strategies


I used survival strategies during the sexual trauma

then after it stoped I used survival strategies to get through school

from late teens into ones twenties even thirties  the energy of youth tends to get one through

The rites of passage and making ones own decisions is empowering.

there  is a freedom from control and restrictions on a child.

this continues until  typically mid life the pain exceeds the shame and  resolved to deal with "it"
the unknown locked in my memory vault at the end of long dark tunnels guarded by guilt and shame.


 

Walking my road of recovery


Overcomming Denial


When the first memory surfaced
I prayed for steps of recovery.

The first I felt God challenging me with was "Overcomming denial"
  this turned out to be an ongoing process often facing that the unthinkable happened.

The Lord shines His light into my dark places.


 

 I began with narrative therapy and Pastoral care.

  Psychologists and sexual assault counsellors briefed me
 to regulate the flow of my traumatised memories  so I'm not overwhelmed
and to take one step at a time
whilst taking my time

 This is called phase 0ne
 

Other phases

I learnt  my body was traumatised,
     particularly my muscles.
I learnt "The Body keeps the score"
   my body has memories
 

Trauma Releasing Therapies

I my journey I trusted in God ( Proverbs 3 v 6) to direct me along my path of recovery.

Time and time again before I opened the memory vault He brought me to Psalm 42  teaching me to tell my soul to trust in God.

He prepared me for this journey.
 

Prayer
Searching the Scriptures
Hymns and Praise
  (music as therapy)

trauma informed
physiotherapy / remedial massage

= treating traumatised muscles

EFT  ( tapping

Somatic Experiening

Somatic experiencing

Peter Levine's You Tube explanatory Videos 

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 After around 25 years recoverying from the sex crimes against me
 I have concluded that recovery is neurophysiological.   add my applied redemptive theology
 I have concluded that two dimensional correlations are inadequate 
eg I find  I'm in the 20%  whoes two variables do not correlate at a certain point  due to trauma related variables.   

                         I suggest a Multidimensional Model to be more helpful and relevant.

 

 hand back the guilt
it doesn't belong to you

it belongs to the abuser

Forgiveness
washes away the puss of bitterness ad resentment

but the sword of abuse remains

Removing the sword of abuse
a noble objective

however I'm still not sure what the sword of abuse ( see page link above)
or how it is removed
 
the surgical removal of a  spear may be an anology
 where an operation is needed to remove the sword and repair the damage internally.

 a mystery

shame removal

   Jesus is the great shame remover

When He broke the shame barrier and I resolved to smash it

 I became free to tell my story
and document my journey of recovery

and talk freely with therapists.

challenging the scripts
  which helped me to survive
but no longer serve any purpose.

  Rebuilding the walls of my heart and soul.

The scriptures say
Guard you soul
Guard your heart.


 The law of God is the substance which repairs the breach

 A Christian returns not to a passive position
but to actively guard our heart and soul.

eg The shield of faith
which may also need repair.


 


 

 triggers and right brain re experiencing   a neurological perspective.

    to be written up

basically   where the right brain experiences the past csa experience in the present.

 

Triggers
trigger or set off a past traumatised memory

a sight
sound
smell
touch
or taste

 words or phrases
or events parallel to those during csa
can trigger traumatised memories


Obstacles and set backs.

Denial
fatigue
despair
 

Discreditation
and
 fear of discreditation

Abandonment

 I experienced aloneness  and abandonment during csa

during my locked away memories  yet traumatised

and many times during my recovery

including abandonment from some therapists.
 

Temptation.

  sexual trauma
recovery from sexual abuse

does not exempt us from being tempted in ways al humans are tempted.

trauma may increase resistance not wanting to be retraumatised

bondage keepers

 some therapies

I was shocked I went to a weekly church prayer meeting only to find some members were unknowingly bondage keepers



 

Negative Phrases

Based on false assumptions.

Forgive and forget.
  really?
a memory is a memory of an historical event.

Forgiveness neutralises bitterness and resentment

Some found forgiveness released healing

it is not right to ague from the particular to the general

There were issues I had to face to then name what sin against me I was forgiving.

 

It's in the past.

 
In the past but a triggerable memory

In the past but it intrudes into the present

On the other hand reminding myself of what my right brain is experiencing in the present is actually a re experiencing of a past event   so this can be reassuring

provided it is acknowledged that it is being experienced in the present  because the right brain knows no time

you should be healed by now

some experience rapid healing

complex trauma  takes time  one step at a time
walking my road to recovery
 

they'll find something

"Submit to authority"

can be subjecting oneself to spiritual abuse
or abuse of authority

it promotes co-dependency

Contrary to scripture:

"Work out your own salvation"

Ministries were set in Churches by God to build us up in Christ

for good order and corporate government

not to lord it over the members.

to leads is to serve

demands
or expectations
to conform to social norms
  which trauma may prevent us from doing

As a Christian I should set out to conform to Christ

we are taught
"do not compare yourselves one to another"
 and
"bear one another's burdens"